Opera Junk Mail Compare and Contrast
May 14, 2008
This morning I checked my post office box, and it completely filled with opera flyers and solicitations for donations to opera-related causes. On the second point, it was amusing to see the form letter (complete with laser-jet printed fake signature) from the Adler Fellowship Program's Making Voices Sing campaign was from Carol Vaness, whose voice can be quite loathsome. She hasn't sung at San Francisco Opera since her 2004 Tosca. On the other hand, Seattle Opera's form letter was from Mariusz Kwiecien, and states that he is "so excited to come back to your lovely city." Inflected forms of the word passion occur six times in the page-long letter. If I weren't so infuriated by Seattle Opera, I might be swayed by "Kwiecien." But I haven't recovered from Iphigénie en Tauride, it still annoys me to think of that busy Wadsworth/Lynch production and that hideous performance by Nuccia Focile. Nor can I forget the horrifying horn solo in "Va tacito e nascosto" from Giulio Cesare, which was just an embarrassment. Perhaps I should just give up on seeing Baroque opera in Seattle, though this is a moot point, as it isn't even an option next season.
Perhaps I need to develop a form letter to counter all the opera flyers I receive:
Dear San Francisco/Seattle/Los Angeles/San Diego Opera:
Thank you for sending me information on your summer offerings/I Puritani/Tosca/your 2009 season, but I already have had my tickets for over a year/already went in standing room/am afraid of one of your lead sopranos/find it all very dull, plus/though you've already had a change in cast/that A cast soprano was really bad/your last few productions were decent/that one production I went to wasn't too good. Also, please note that information on your coming performances is easily accessible on the Internet,
and it would be quite nice if you stopped stuffing my mailbox full of dead trees/increasing your carbon footprint so I'd appreciate it if you took me off your mailing list for flyers.
[Fake Laser-Jet Printed Signature Goes Here]
The Opera Tattler